Family

Annabel Andreou
September 2025

High Days and Holidays (such as Christmas, Eid, Hanukkah) should be a time of joy and family connection, but for separated or divorced parents, it can bring stress and uncertainty. How do you decide who has the children over these religious periods, school holidays, or special occasions? What if you can’t agree?

It’s normal to feel anxious about balancing everyone’s wishes, keeping routines consistent, and ensuring children still enjoy the magic of the holidays. Planning early and having professional guidance can make a huge difference.

Agreeing Arrangements Between Parents

Ideally, parents can reach an agreement without needing court intervention. Some approaches include:

  • Alternating special days (i.e. Eid or Christmas Day) each year.
  • Splitting the holiday (for example, Christmas Eve and morning with one parent, Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day with the other).
  • Designating special times for each parent to maintain family traditions.

The key is open, child-focused communication. Ask:

  • “What traditions matter most to our children?”
  • “Which days are essential for grandparents or wider family?”
  • “How can we make sure both households feel included?”

Professional Guidance to Negotiate Arrangements

If parents find it difficult to agree, seeking professional assistance can help. Family lawyers can:

  • Facilitate negotiations between parents.
  • Draft proposed arrangements for discussion.
  • Offer guidance on what is realistic and in the child’s best interests.

This approach often prevents misunderstandings and reduces stress, while ensuring that agreements are legally informed and enforceable if necessary.

When Court Involvement is Necessary

If negotiations cannot resolve the dispute, parents may apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. The court always considers what is in the child’s best interests, using the welfare checklist under the Children Act 1989. This includes:

  • The child’s age, needs, and relationships with each parent.
  • The impact of changes to routines.
  • Each parent’s capacity to provide for the child.

In holiday cases, courts generally aim to ensure children have meaningful time with both parents. They may:

  • Split the holiday period between parents.
  • Alternate full holidays each year.
  • Make bespoke arrangements tailored to the family’s circumstances.

Courts rarely enforce rigid schedules unless necessary, preferring flexible arrangements that minimise conflict and disruption.

  • Start conversations early – Ideally months before holidays begin.
  • Document agreements – Even a simple written plan can prevent misunderstandings.
  • Consider fairness and consistency – Children benefit from predictable routines.
  • Be flexible – Small compromises (e.g., extra evening with one parent) help maintain peace.
  • Think beyond religious holidays – Apply the same principles to school holidays, birthdays, and special events.
  • Seek professional guidance – Family lawyers can negotiate arrangements, offer advice, and help formalise agreements.

Why it Matters

Resolving holiday arrangements constructively protects children from conflict and ensures they enjoy important family time. Early planning and professional guidance reduce stress, minimise court involvement, and give both parents clarity.

If you’re struggling to agree on holiday arrangements, our family law team can help. We provide professional guidance to negotiate and formalise child arrangements—helping you create fair, practical, and child-focused plans for high days, holidays and beyond.